Lonely

I have more people in my life right now than I have had in 12 years but I am lonelier than I have ever been.  Sadness just keeps creeping into my heart.  I have nowhere to turn.  Nowhere to go to find a little companionship.  I'm so afraid of the rejection, that I can't function properly.  I know how creepy it feels when I receive unwanted attention so there is no way in HELL that I would ever do that to anyone else.  I've loved you all and lost you too... all in my own mind.  If I could find a way to get past my own brain, maybe I could make it happen... but that is never going to happen because I'm a loser who will never find happiness...  never.